we've been busy...

The weather has been amazing, for February this is weird for me, I'm not accustomed to sunny days meaning outside time...usually sunny days still meant bundle up cause it's still about 30 outside. We've been soaking in every minute of it and I've made a point of going outside after lunch before the little ones naptime.

It's a refreashing part of the day, the phone stays inside and we just soak up the sunshine, play with the dog and have fun running in the yard, picking flowers or finding sticks. We have a really nice big, backyard at this house, I WISH it was fenced in but we make do :)

Kaitlyn's been learning to ride her bike...we differed on how to teach her, for some reason Daddy didn't think she needed to learn how to stop???? his argument was she'll just keep stopping when she gets scared. Male logic? who knows, so we did his way for a little bit but when she started stopping with the toes of her new summer shoes Mummy won the argument and she's been taught to push back on the peddles to stop! Still a little fearful of going down the slopped driveway but we're getting better daily and it's her favorite nag...which I won't complain about because it could be much worse :)

I never thought I'd say this, but I cannot wait for Blake to walk, he is 20lbs at 9 months old and H.E.A.V.Y! He's also a squirmer, fast crawler and into everything. But carrying him around is killing my back...much to the grievence of my friend who works at a chiropractors office I hadn't done anything about it. She set me straight and I've been to see Dr. Annie twice now, the first time it just hurt alot then and a lot after, Saturday I was in more pain that before...I went back today and she adjusted me again and will see me Thursday. I've been icing it as much as possible since sitting down for 20 minutes at a time is a rarity it's usually at night that this happens.

 My little princess in her dress, LOVES to play in the dirt...I swear if she hadn't come out of my belly I wouldn't believe she was mine. She is a walking disaster, doesn't care if she's dirty, leaves a mess everywhere, plays in the dirt and sand and loves running around outside. Granted I 'may' have enjoyed those things as a child as well but in my old age, of nearly 28 holy moley, I have a rather large ick-factor-phobe, dirt, sand, grim, etc I have a rough time with it all. I end up washing my hands probably 75 times a day, plus a shower in the am. Needless to say I need a good lotion, I've tried a ton but so far the best is the Mary Kay satin hands! I've never been so impressed it works well and it worked fast...now if I could find the same thing for my grotty feet I'd be happy...should ask Kellie if they offer something similar!

 Case in point, leaf in unbrushed hair, dirt all over from rolling on the ground.

 I fear I have become 'one of those' people who walks the gender line. My son is outside barefoot and eating grass, doesn't bug me. My daughter however must have on shoes and we wash hands immediately after playing in the dirt. I don't know why I do this or how to just be cool with both of them being kids in the dirt...something I most definitely need to work on. 

We haven't found many friends here yet, I have found a wonderful church but with a congregation of 3200 plus people it's been a bit difficult to connect with others. But I did go to a newcomers class and found a mums and tots group to attend so hopefully with more time in smaller groups I'll make some new friends!  :)
Thanks to babyzone I do know some wonderful ladies within a 45-60 min drive that we've made time to get together a few times in the last month which has been great for me, Adult conversation!!!! and great for the kids to have an unstructured playdate.

*Blaire is about 2 weeks old than Blake*

In our beautiful big backyard we have a huge magnolia tree...according to my MIL it will bloom beautifully in the late spring/summer, I'm excited and have been scouring craiglist for a patio set to put on the back deck so we can enjoy it in all it's glory!!

Oh and our internets back baby! So I'm here, and hopefully will be back to blogging weekly, its a great outlet and seems to help my grumpy moods disappear pretty quick! To quote Joey from Friends "I'm back baby!"

Internet is coming...

I'll be back, I promise, I just hate posting without pictures...makes me feel even more boring :P at least with pictures you have entertainment besides the dribble that comes out my mouth!

We were supposed to get it yesterday but SOMEBODY *ahem* Direct T.V *ahem* did not process our order through AT&T...so now we're delayed a week.

Next week, I'm back with lots of stories for 2011 and pictures galore!

Thanks for sticking around :)

It's a balancing act

one I'm still figuring out!

I LOOOOOOOOOVE to clean, love the look of clean, the smell of clean and the act of clean...something to do with the perfectionist in me and the OCD tendencies I have maybe? Or maybe I'm just a bit weird, ha like we didn't already know that. Vaccuming is a de-stressor, especially when kids are driving me nuts. K is scared so will sit on the couch and watch and I snap B into the baby sling and away we go making perfect lines and sucking away all the dirt and ickiness that accumulates on the floor....well little ickiness since we do NOT wear shoes in my house, ever and yes I will make you take them off at the door :)

I also love to craft, working on my side business www.etsy.com/shop/fantasticframes2 yep I opened one up after a little shove from a good friend. I've donated a few of them and hope that will drum up more business. If nothing else they are fun to make and give me my creative outlet.

I love to shower, my shortest managed shower is 8 minutes and that was the worst, typically I spend 20-25 mins under the water and yes I know I'm a terrible environmentalist but it's my one escape from the day and my love of peace and quiet with the water running down my back...I get lots of thinking done in there!

I love spending time with my kids, dancing, playing on the floor, building blocks, doing art, cooking, running around outside, etc, etc, etc.

I love to blog when my thoughts are in working order...

I have to do homework
I have to pay bills
I have to take care of the dog
I have to make breakfast, lunch and dinner

I like to watch TV at night...

So how does it all fit in the day? When is it okay for a messy house to well just be messy, at this point my kitchen may be a little beyond that and it's giving me anxiety every time I look at it...but B is asleep and I can't clean in there when he's sleeping since he it's a light sleeper. Its the daily question of showering while baby sleeps or playing with and giving K individual time...although lately since she's somewhat a trouble maker we combine and she comes into the bathroom and we chat or she reads me a story.

It's a balancing act and somedays I'm much too heavy on one side and light on the other, I doubt I'll ever figure this thing called parenting to a perfect balance but I'm not sure that's even possible...at least in my world! But we're having a heck of a ride while we're here and as long as we go to warm beds with full bellies and smiles on our faces I think we'll make it though!

What's your number?

This question seems to be a constant asked in the parenting world, like once you take the leap of one child how many more do you dare to have?

People women always say they "know" when they are done, I was one of those but due to recent changes I've began to wonder about it and this subject of "knowing".

My first child was not what they call a planned baby, but met with absolute joy and love. We ummed and ahhed and discussed number two, agreed, didn't agree...but always said two kids would be great for our family.

Bambino number 2 arrived this  last year, wow already, and I spent the whole pregnancy accepting and being comfortable with that I was done and we were complete. I was iffy during the pregancy but when he arrived felt like okay cool we're good, family of 4 sounds right, two kids, two hands, we're good.

Until...

My husband has recently been contemplating a 3rd and heaven forbid a 4th for our family. He's decided he wants a crew...okay he said 5 kids and I told him no way in a hot place was that happening.

But since he's been talking about it, I've kind of become excited...like wow I think 3, maybe even 4 kids would be really fun! Not right now, mr. no sleep has to get his butt in order first, but maybe in another year, a bigger family could be great. I think my title as Mummy is one I own well, I'm nowhere near the perfect parent but I really love staying home with my kids and just being Mummy.

But wait, I was done, I felt that huh I feel good with two kids and our family is done no need for more kids, factory closed feeling.

Making me question this whole "oh no my family is done" concept. I mean are we really ever done? As a friend recently said, I've never heard of anyone say they regret having another child. So is our heart ever done? Obviously sensibility comes into play, finances make a difference, size of the home, patience level, health capabilities, etc but are those what tell us we're done as opposed to our heart? Do we just convince ourselves our heart is done to avoid that tug? Or does it really go away?

Did I just convince myself we were done because in reality we had agreed we were? So I was making my heart be okay with the decision instead of listening to it?

I wonder if those who say they are done and happy would be sad to have another child today...

So I'm curious if those who are done for whatever reason feel like it's a heart choice or a mind choice or a combination of both? I guess I'll revisit this post in a few years and see if my thoughts have changed!

Ever walk into a room...

and go crud what did I come in here for?

Happens to me all the time, just happened as I came to my blog site. I had a great topic in mind, TV is on, Facebook is open and well ADHD kicked in and now I've got nothing but a topic about nothing :P

At the moment I'm dealing with the frustration of DVD region codes. WHY do they do it? I don't get it. But every region and I believe there are 5...don't quote me on that...has as different way of coding their DVDs and DVD players. The US is region 1.

We received an awesome gift card from my aunt and uncle for Christmas to the amazon UK website, I knew about the codes but found the manual to my 7 year old DVD/VHS player that said I could change the region coding and play anything, fantastic right? So I ordered 18 new DVDs for the kids. They arrived. I plugged in the player and nothing, nada, zilch...the dang thing is dunzo!

Sigh

So we schlepped to Best Buy in the rain today, talked to the guys in the DVD dept. who told me we could not use anything sold in the store, but the PS3 which is way out of the current budget and even then he only knew we could play foreign games. Found another guy who told me the last one they sold that was capable of that was over a year ago, luck have it they had one in the "open box" aisle, SCORE! No remote but the Phillips machine that died had one so I was told I could use the old remote, awesome right? Wrong...drove home, plugged it in, stupid remote died along with the old machine.

Sigh

Back to the drawing board...so I checked online and found a few hacker code websites offering ways to un-code the DVD player allowing it to play all regions. Awesome. So back we went to Best Buy to return the Phillips and pick up just a regular DVD/Blu Ray player they had on the "open box" shelf for a great price. Brought that one home and it doesn't work.

Double Sigh

Maybe I should have bought books!

B and I will head back to the store Wednesday while K's in her science enrichment class and try for a 3rd time, 3rd times a charm right? it has to eventually work out...Thankfully I've only opened one DVD so if all else fails we may just return them.

Today was Monday!

Behind

I hate the feeling of being behind, behind in housework, behind in getting a deal from the store, behind in blogging, behind in homework...behind.

Being behind makes it so much harder to catch up. Where to start, how to get on top of things or even better ahead of things.

So I guess a brief catch up is in order?

We're settled in our new home, a few boxes remain in the basement hiding in the corner where I pretend if I ignore them they'll go away, so far it's not working...

I recently got hit by a mack truck, not literally but figuratively...I developed mastitis and it knocked me out for a day and a bit, starting to feel better.

We've found a church, finally, it's not as amazing as the one we left in Opelika but it's a great place and we're finding our way around slowly...I got lost once but there were plenty of people to help me find the way out! Yes it's a large church.

I've lost 6 pounds in 3 weeks and feeling great about it! I have quite a ways to go but I'm on a good start and hope to keep this up!

I opened my own business, not feeling super confident about it but I love making the frames and enjoy it so if nothing else it's a fun hobby for a little while :)
www.etsy.com/shop/fantasticframes2

Project 365 is going well, made it almost through the month (2 days to go) without hesitation, I'm learning more about my camera and hope to improve the quality of photos as I move forward!

Oh and I'm LOVING e-mealz! Have you tried it? Checked into it? Click the link on my site (I get a referral bonus) and check it out. It's cut our food budget down and food I buy actually gets used, so no more throwing bad veggies out or questioning meat! Plus meals are planned 5 days a week, so come 4pm I don't stand in the kitchen going hmmm what on earth should we do for dinner! oh and they are delicious...like the cajun shrimp and rice we had tonight! delish :)

Kids are phenomenal as usual, turning my hair grey and my smile lines deeper!

We're getting REAL internet soon so I will be back with a vengence complete with pictures! Right now I use the mobile hot spot on my cell phone and since the service stinks in this house the connection speed is S.L.O.W as molassess making uploading pictures on this site near impossible!

Why I struggle...

I've contemplated this post for awhile and letting the world (lol or the few readers I have) about what goes on in my head daily, but I've decided that this is a real life stuggle and nothing to be embarrassed about, it's not something I can control or chose to have, I was born this way, born with a brain that works in different ways...

Senior Year as part of our English requirement we had to write a research paper, 20 pages, 10 sources, big stuff for high school...it was followed up with a 15 minute presentation in infront of the class. It ended up being super interesting to hear what every wrote about, it could be anything! I picked palmistry, but that's not what this post is about.

A classmate, Sam, picked his disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, aka ADHD. I remember listening, reading over his check list of 'do you have ADHD' marking every.single.one yes and sitting there kind of numb, having a few flashbacks over the years of sitting in the corner, being in trouble for talking, struggling with tests, never remembering what I read, having issues with control, not being able to finish a task, perfection, etc, etc, etc.

Freshman year in college the struggle became worse and I reached out to have an evaluation done...about 8 hours of testing...with a confirmed diagnosis of ADHD.

So an answer to questions but now what? where do I go from there? so my brain works differently, what does that mean?

It means life is not as easy for me as it is for most others, that when I want to sit down and read a book or write in my blog or listen to a story I have to prepare...it takes me a longer time, outside noises are a big distraction and messes have to be cleaned up. Basically anything and everything is a distraction. If I'm not interested in the topic it's even worse.

I was on addreall XR 30 mg twice a day to help me focus, with pretty yuck side affects, as I was coming off the meds I had headaches, it made me jittery and well bathroom wasn't fun but I could focus better and my tests improved, homework was easier to get done and the weight loss side affect wasn't too bad either!

But I was basically on speed, twice a day...not something I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

So now I struggle, I self medicate with caffiene which while nursing is the only thing I can take anyway, I've learned little tricks on how to pay attention and I accept that this is my world and I'm the only one that can make it better.

My ADHD offers many barriers, it causes strain on all my relationships and it makes me worry for my kids.

Lately it seems to be hindering me more than in the past and I cannot pin point why, but I'm re-vamping my blog as an outlet to discuss my struggles as a Mum of two with ADHD and how I battle the world differently! 

I hope you'll stick around to read some more of my rambling mind and how it affects world!