4 years ago yesterday...

I found out I was going to be a mama...my first born was not planned, she was as they call it an 'oops baby'. The feelings were intense, happy, excited, scared, nervous, overwhelmed, unsure, giddy, but mostly HOLY CANOLI I'm having a baby.
July 29th, 2007 life changed for the good...

Becoming a Mum has meant a lot of things, a lot of great things and a lot of realizations. Realizing whatever you did before doesn't matter, but what you do from now on does in a big way. Dirty dishes become less important and the perfection of blowing raspberries more.

 Alot of people talk about 'giving up' things to become a mama...I don't think I gave up anything. I'm still up at 2am, only now it's to comfort and feed a hungry baby. I still wear my heels, they're just next to the princess shoes. I put on my make-up right after kissing two plump cheeks. The little black dress is still worn only now one shoulder is covered with a burp cloth and there is a hint of snot or slobber or both on the hem right where a little face burried into it.

 It's a pretty amazing thing, becoming the whole world to one person. Knowing that you are shaping this persons life. What you do, what you say helps them to figure out who they are and what they want to be or do when they grow up. Your life is them. They are perfect in their own way, they know it and you know it.

It's a marvelous thing this title of Mama. One that isn't always easy to come by, one that people sometimes suffer and cry for a long time before receiving. One that is always hoped to be the first word out of a child mouth, but usually comes second to that easier to say Dadda. One that is a need when sick, a word of support and encouragement, a comfort in the night and a smile in the morning. A title not always asked for, a title that means the world and one that makes a difference.

Four years I've had this title...and I cannot wait for the rest to come. My little girl gave me this title and it's one I hold near and dear to my heart, not taken lightly and even in the whiniest or grumpiest of times when the 3 year old is acting like a 3 year old a title that I love.

Making time...

Life is all about making time, using time, taking time, having time. These days I am working hard to make time, its there I know it is, it's just figuring out the best way to find it and then how to use it when I do find it. It's becoming harder and harder with a little boy who just wants to explore the world.

 We are crawling like crazy over here, and FAST too! I seem to have forgotten this stage of babyhood, gone from sitting sweetly and playing in one spot to speeding all over the room, mostly aiming for the laptop cord or the games on the T.V stand. He's an adventurer and wants to taste and touch everything he can!
We're moving soon...again...and when we do the layout of books, magazines and everything else that's not ment to be drooled on will have to find a home on a shelf higher than bubs can reach. As of today I've lost two magazines to the drool monster.

Time is not currently on my side...with B crawling it's difficult to do much when he's awake, and since he won't sleep in his crib but prefers my bed which is on the main floor it's hard to get much done with him napping...but I keep reminding myself this is only temporary, he'll sleep alone eventually, he'll be independent and not need Mummy to play with him forever so that time I'm searching for to do "stuff" will come back. I'm sure at some point I'll have too much time and yearn for my kids to still want to roll around on the floor with me and be silly.

Happy 1st of December...23 days until Christmas...can you believe it? Time moves too fast sometimes, it's hard to stop and smell the roses but this holiday season I plan to smell it all, the roses and poinsettas, cinnamon candles, pine leaves and Christmas trees! I will be taking my time this season to soak in every moment!