Sunday, September 25, 2011

Expectations, judgement and kids...

Well hows that for a happy Sunday afternoon topic...haha! I promise the post is not as dreary as the title sounds.
Something has been on my mind a lot lately and seems to continue to be in front on my face is the expectations we have for our children, the judgement that comes with what our kids do and the choices we make as a family.

There are a lot of things they don't tell you when you want to try for your first baby...besides all the trials and tribulations of actually getting pregnant there is all the 'judgement' that comes from outside sources. EVERY single person you know in your life and even those you don't know have the BEST advice out there.

According to them.

Let me tell you even doctors aren't on the same page and they all have different advice too. We are on our 6th pediatrician in 4 years, not for any reason other than moving or changing insurance, okay I take that back one we switched immediately from because she was baffled that I nursed my 2 month old and didn't supplement and said she couldn't imagine how...that was a red flag for this mama.

Anyway all 6 had something different to say about everything.

I have quickly learned that the one right person for MY children is me...occasionally Daddy has a say too ;) I'm kidding, partly, my husband is very complacent in this matter and leaves all the vaccination, diet/nutrition, activity planning up to me with a nod of the head and a sign on the check. Not that he doesn't care he just trusts me to make the best choice for the kids.

Anyways what's my point, well judgement comes in all forms. Too many activities, not enough. Starting school too young, starting too late. Too many vaccinies, not enough. I could go on but I think you get the point.

We as parents, and hopefully most of us are intelligent ones, make the best choices we can for our family. We are the good influences on our kids. I know my kids can handle somethings but not other things. K does gymnastics twice a week for a total of 3 hrs. She can handle it and she loves it. It's a good choice for us. I want her to do the mission adventure at church on Wednesday nights, but it's from 7pm -8:30pm. Her bedtime is 7:30pm, she cannot handle going to be at 9pm on a week night and not being a total bear the next day.

A wise friend told me about planning and how she plans for one thing at a time and re-evaluates onto the next. Now I don't know if this is a quote or not but this is what just came to mind...
A plan is never written in ink, but in pencil, with a large eraser.

And for me that sums it up, I expect my kids to do this today, I shall face the judgement with grace and learn as we go forward. Sometimes that eraser will be very handy, other times we can tuck it away confident in our choices.

Today we studied the parable of the weeds and the wheat, if you're interested read Matthew all came together for me today after reading that story.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

gone but not forgotten...

Yikes, it's been too long.

With an on the go toddler and a million other things going on in this house blogging has become nonexistant.

I miss it

I think I put too much pressure on myself to be writing over here and took the fun out of it which is upsetting because I did do like to write, I have a silly amount of children's stories sitting in a folder waiting for me to do something with them, like delete or send to a publisher...

Pictures are taking forever to upload too though I'm getting a new tablet in a couple of weeks so maybe I will be able to upload faster and make this blogging a lot more fun.

stay tuned...I will be back!

Friday, June 10, 2011

over-scheduling and under-scheduling and sanity!

There are many big debates over the scheduling of kids, over-scheduled, under-scheduled and just plain scheduled. This is one of those times where I said 'oh I never would' and yet here I am looking at our summer schedule going woah.

Step back a moment and since K turned 3 and I became a SAHM I have had the forever question of 'is she in preschool', like I'm some crazy lady for not putting her in...erm the whole point of staying home was to stay home with my kiddos, not stay home so I could send them elsewhere. I mean if you work, they have to go, but if you're home I'd feel weird sending my kid to school when they don't have to go.

But a 3 yr old has a lot of energy and being home with a baby brother and an OCD mother can't always been fun right? So we looked at different options, we did dance for a little while, library time, MOPS, Awana and various playdates but *I* felt totally over booked and living where we were at the time it was a long drive to all these activities! When we moved we stopped everything for about 2 months and just spent time at home, it was nice for a break.

Now we're back to doing stuff! We started with church playdates which are every other Friday at various places (parks, indoor play areas, etc) that lead to joining music classes on Thursday mornings for both kids which is a great time and they both love it.
Now that summer is here we've just finished a week at VBS (vacation bible school) for Kaitlyn from 9:30-noon which to be honest was pretty awesome for me, we dropped her off and came home for B to nap and me to clean up without a tornado following behind me. My house was clean for a good 3 hrs a day.
Next week K's starting gymnastics on Mondays for 8 weeks
Thursdays are music for both kids for another 4 weeks
July 5th K is doing swim lessons everyday for 2 weeks
Then we're likely going to the beach in Florida to meet up with some friend from Denver for a long weekend.
K's 4th birthday party is the end of July.
Then it's Boston for a long weekend.

And summer's over

So maybe a bit of over-scheduling going on...but K's excited and my little social butterfly (who swims up behind kids in the pool taps them on the shoulder and says hi my names Kaitlyn want to play) will have a BLAST!

Happy Weekend!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The differences

When I first found out I was having a boy I was excited, partly because my husband was over the moon and partly because it was better than being anxious about having a boy! I mean I'm a girl, I have two sisters, my daughter is (obviously) a girl...I didn't know boys.

When he was placed in my arms, all the anxious feelings disappeared and he was my sweet little boy! In many ways he is still so sweet and kind hearted...he is however ALL boy!  He is destructive, loud, busy, silly, messy and rough.

My house is never clean anymore, which if you really know me is difficult for me to handle.

K is not this way. Case in point right now she is happily playing in the playroom with her dolls by herself.  She's contained and fairly quiet.

My little man does not do this, he pulls everything off the shelves, throws stuff around, pulls things out, leaves stuff everywhere and does not play alone! Currently his favourite activity is playing with the glass doors on the fireplace and putting random things in the fireplace. I mean really? Oh he also loves to climb and bang his head against the wall.

In our last house, in Denver, we had barely any child proofing...a simple elastic band around the chemicals kept K out, a foam pad on the fireplace just in case and the essential outlet covers....she never messed with anything.
In this house we have outlet covers, all chemicals in the top cupboard, baby gates everywhere, doors must be closed to rooms, etc. B gets into EVERYTHING!

Amazing how different they are and also how much of the same characteristics they have, just now they are starting to play together and while K is still pretty rough with her baby brother it's sweet to see their interaction. And I will take as many pictures as possible to torture them with when they are older and fighting like cats and dogs.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

So much for planning...

I had this great idea I'd post all the time and be this awesome blogger that everyone would want to read...yeah last post was over a month ago. Reality kicked in and I have two kids, one high energy and one quieter and into the cuddling.
Here are some updates on us and a potentially broken promise that I'll be back more often than not...

My shaggy little almost one year old was in dire need of a new haircut, a friend reccomended Pigtails and Crewcuts. Tucked away in a small strip mall about 20 mins from our house we found the shop, it's a franchise and this one was awesome. The ladies whisked the kids right away into their car off choice and started cutting...B was none to thrilled with the thought of scissors near his ears but we walked away unscathed and a pretty even big boy do.

New do and helping mama with the housework...since apparently I don't do a great job, B makes sure to re-do it :P Love this sweet kid of mine and wondering how long he'll enjoy pushing a vaccum around!

 He loves to climb. He loves to climb. He loves to climb. Everytime I turn around he's figured out how to get onto something else...fireplace - check, coffee table - check, big sisters art desk - double check, couch -working on it!

Easter weekend was awesome. My mother-in-law came in on Friday late afternoon and hung out with us through Wednesday. Saturday we checked out a local church festival and K had a BLAST at the egg hunt, took her a minute to catch onto the concept and then it was game on. She even managed to help out baby brother with a few of his own, though my little man did manage to grab two on his own.

Easter morning the bunny had paid our house a visit and the kids happily gathered up eggs. B found a couple and then was more interested in opening his stash to see what was on the inside.
 Grandma bought a Tangled, it's a new favourite.
 It is awfuly painful to get a family photo were we all look decent...this was attempt 3 or 4 I believe and about the best of the bunch.

Been slowly working on my camera skills and attempting to get better, and was recently added to a photographing mamas group which gave me a nice little ego boost and I didn't think I was 'cool' enough to dip my toes in that water. One of the questions was what is our goal as a photographer in the next year...think it would have to be simply to get better. I'd love to be able to sell my prints and have people interested in what I capture...but that may be a long term goal when I have more time to play and shoot and not have my attention called in other directions. 

My little man turns one on Saturday...we're in preparation for his day. I'm faced with lots of bittersweet emotions. For now it's semi-denial :D

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Blake started with a snotty nose last week, that ran like a faucet. That night I heard the horrible, deep barking that gives the tell tale sign of croup settling boy had the sickies!
He wanted nothing but mama's lap or shoulder and lots and lots of cuddles. I would wake up in the middle of the night his little body as close as it could get to mine with deep breathes fighting off the sickies. We were going to try out a music class but decided with that deep barky cough we'd be better off at home. No fever and my boy fought it well, still has a big of a runny nose and some junk in the chest but he's a trooper...Daddy could take some lessons!
With Summer right around the corner the weather was kind to us the last few days and the little red line on the thermometor travelled past 80 last week bringing lots of outdoor time and sunshine full of vitamin D to help fight off those icky sickies.
We have a large lot with plenty of room to run and play and it's being put to good use, both the back and front yard! We love to people watch out front and most neighbors slow down to wave or check out the silly littles in the front yard being followed around with the crazy camera lady.
 I love the flowers in the neighborhood...I would say our yard but this bush is just over the property line, thank goodness for zoom lens right? Pollen is everywhere making my poor husband sniffle and snuffle and me ever so grateful to have avoided allergies. I drug the garbage can out yesterday and instead of the brown lid I was faced with a yellow speckled one! I like the windows and doors open with fans running and will avoid the air conditioner as long as the humidity will allow...but if that's whats on the garbage can outside I may have to re-think open doors and windows for fear of what will float indoors!
The better part of the spring is the thunderstorms, just when the heat gets to be a bit much and I start to think 'man it's going to be a hot summer' God prevails and the skies open! I love me a good thunderstorm, sheets of lightening and the clash of thunder so loud the house shakes and the kids move closer wide eyed and curious at the sounds mother nature brings!
Sometimes so loud we hide under the couch...well not really, a discarded toy under the couch caught his eye, and he went in after it only to realize the space was quite small and his arms not quite capable of getting him back out. Of course mama needed a picture of the sillies before coming to his rescue!

Indoors and out we are taking advantage of what the weather brings and having fun! Sickies are gone and we hope they never invite themselves back.

Friday, March 25, 2011

The big hand and the little hand

Eating breakfast last week Kaitlyn suddenly looked at the clock, our awesome $5 gold clock that hangs nicely on the kitchen wall and has survived moving 3 states, and said 'Mum it's 8 o'clock, that ones pointing to the 8'.
I explained the hands, little hand and big hand and we talked about the hours and minutes in our everytime we sit at the table she will tell me what time it is, or at least give a very good guess.
"The little hand is pointing to the 6 and the big hand is pointing to the 4 so that means it's 6 o'clock"
I then correct and explain that it's 20 past 6 or 6:20.

Pretty good for a 3 and a half year old, right?

I want to encourage this, so last weekend we found a very cool electronic clock at the consignment sale, the tag said for ages 5 and up...but we're ignoring that since it seems my girl is ready.

Makes me think of all the things she's going to be ready for...starts off small with telling the time and tying shoes, to riding a bike with no trainig wheels to riding the school bus and eventually ready to drive a car and leave for college.

 Pre-K starts in August and she is ready, to get out of our neighborhood we pass the local elementary school and every time we do I hear "Mum I want to go to big school, am I 4 yet" and I answer "no hunny little bit longer and you can go" while screaming on the inside, NOOOOOO it's coming too fast! :( I know she'll love it, I know it's what she needs and my little smarty pants and social butterfly will have the time of her life. But doesn't make the heart break any softer.

That big hand and little hand seem to move awful fast these days!

Happy Friday!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Have YOU looked in the mirror lately?

Being in a group of women from all walks of life with all kinds of backgrounds, presents and futures drama often arises.

The mixed words from one conversation to another.

The confusion of what one types and what one means.

The interrperated tone of a message.

The cliques.

It's almost like being in high school again, the need to be seen a certain way, wanting to fit in with the cool girls.

clearly a cool girl-I asked her to find a bow to wear and she did, in every colour that perfectly matched her dress!

It's hard not to get into the middle of it and a year ago I would have been front and center, but these days
I'm biting my tongue and staying away. I think of all the things I could say and the digs I could take but keep them in my head where they belong. Cause really what good is it going to do? I mean besides that little dip given to someones ego and a temporary boost to yours...

I look in the mirror these days and I'm good with what I see. I know who I am and it's a happy place to be! Do you? Are you good in your skin? Do you let the bites take ahold of you and fester? Do they leave a small mark or mark another notch on the lesson learned journey?
Not for a second am I saying the bites don't sting, they sure do, but I'm brushing them off  these days, kissing my wounds good-bye!
Spring has sprung!
It's a whole new season to enjoy, summer is around the corner and lots of travel plans are in the works! Plus two little monkeys are turning a whole year older...hard to believe really.
Time when you want it slows seems to move so fast!
Still trying to figure out what to do for our youngest little one's 1st birthday!! Being  new to this community we haven't many friends yet, so I'm not quite sure what we'll do. Nan is talking of flying out for the day and as a tradtion started with baby #1 we must make a trip to the zoo on the actual day. I think we'll do a theme with cars since the littlest LOVES his cars and I will be attempting a cool cake. The day will be about him, whatever we decide to do.
Best way to get my littlest smiling and not grabbing the camera...behind glass! :P

K has been talking about her birthday for months now and everytime she seems something of interest on the T.V we must add it too the list of things she wants for her birthday. We've also been instructed to invite all her friends, have a yummy cake and party hats!
I think for her this year we'll do a butterfly or cupcake themed party complete with playdough station and water table and paddling pool...something with a birthday at the end of July I doubt she'll ever escape, unless of course we move to Australia and it's the middle of winter....
My big 2-8 is at the end of June and I'm looking forward to it! I love birthdays, mine especially :) And this year will be extra special as my bestie is coming down from TN and we're meeting up another friend and her friend in Atlanta to see NKOTB and BSB!! And I've already decided we'll be doing sushi beforehand, since it's my favourite but never get to eat it with the kids and a hubby who isn't that interested in the stuff! I'm hoping for a yummy ice cream cake and celebratory dinner at home the weekend before...hint, hint, hint...not that he reads this but maybe putting it in the universe the request will be answered!

Spring cleaning has begun and last night with the help of my awesome hubby I de-cluttered all the baby stuff we've outgrown and don't use! Church consignment sale starts this Thursday and I hope it's a great success. We'll probably donate most of the stuff we don't actually sell, it's nice to make way for I'm sure all the new stuff coming in the next few months. 
I'm loving our daffodils in the front yard and the teasing hint of summer with 75 degree days...mixed in with rain and reminders that it's still March and while I pine for hot days and the smell of sunscreen and chlorine I do love that smell of rain and watching the droplets fall. Spring and Summer bring it!

Happy Monday!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I'm going crazy?

I don't know if it's part of staying home, having more time to think or having less time to be on a task or what...but I kind of feel like I'm going crazy over here.

I think it's time to learn more about what my disorder is, because I haven't much of a clue and really I should. I over-analyze my thoughts is that normal or that just my brain?

I also worry about my kids and analyze their behavior, well not so much the 9 month old since well he's 9 months old :P But the almost 4 year old. I've worked with kids before, a lot of kids from all ages, but I'm not sure I could pinpoint 'normal' 3-4 year old behavior.

Is this normal to think and overanalyze every thing your kid does or is it just me because there is the potential she will end up with ADHD like mama?

I think 'google' is about to become a good friend of mine, any other suggestions for medical but in lamens terms information?

I'm starting with

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The beginning of Lent

Today is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent for the Christian calendar. Ash Wednesday comes from the practice of placing ashes on the foreheads of the faithful as a sign of repentance. Traditionally, the ashes used are gathered after the Palm Crosses from the previous year’s Palm Sunday are burned and mixed with oil. In the Roman Catholic Church, Ash Wednesday is observed by fasting, abstinence from meat, and repentance. It is a day for contemplating one’s transgressions.

Lent includes 'giving up' something to glorify God. Typically people give up sins (caffiene, alcohol, etc). What alot of people don't realize is Lent is actually 47 days long, 40 days plus Sundays which are not included in the penance.

This year I'm limiting Facebook...yes I said limiting not giving up. I need the outlet and friends I have on Facebook, since I'm still trying to find IRL friends in our new town, plus I love those ladies and would miss them alot!

I somewhat explained Lent and Ash Wednesday to Kaitlyn, but being 3.5 it's very much over her head. Once we go to service and have the ashes, it may be a bit easier to explain. I find often it's easier to explain things with evidence as opposed to intangiable theories. Seeing the ashes will hopefully let her make more of a connection to what I'm talking about! We are going to have meatless Friday's in our house as well, I'm going to make fish and chips this week!

If you are looking for some scripture to read, Hallee has some great, relevent ones listed on her blog today about Ash Wednesday: Hallee The Homemaker .

Our United Methodist Church, like all UMC's, celebrate Ash Wednesday. I'm debating on bringing K to service or putting her in childcare, I think she may still be too young to fully understand...we'll see once we get there!

If you observe Lent what have you given up this season?

If you don't observe, maybe consider joining us Christians in giving up something for the 40 days as a sense of Spring cleaning?

Enjoy your Ash Wednesday!

Monday, February 28, 2011

we've been busy...

The weather has been amazing, for February this is weird for me, I'm not accustomed to sunny days meaning outside time...usually sunny days still meant bundle up cause it's still about 30 outside. We've been soaking in every minute of it and I've made a point of going outside after lunch before the little ones naptime.
It's a refreashing part of the day, the phone stays inside and we just soak up the sunshine, play with the dog and have fun running in the yard, picking flowers or finding sticks. We have a really nice big, backyard at this house, I WISH it was fenced in but we make do :)

Kaitlyn's been learning to ride her bike...we differed on how to teach her, for some reason Daddy didn't think she needed to learn how to stop???? his argument was she'll just keep stopping when she gets scared. Male logic? who knows, so we did his way for a little bit but when she started stopping with the toes of her new summer shoes Mummy won the argument and she's been taught to push back on the peddles to stop! Still a little fearful of going down the slopped driveway but we're getting better daily and it's her favorite nag...which I won't complain about because it could be much worse :)

I never thought I'd say this, but I cannot wait for Blake to walk, he is 20lbs at 9 months old and H.E.A.V.Y! He's also a squirmer, fast crawler and into everything. But carrying him around is killing my back...much to the grievence of my friend who works at a chiropractors office I hadn't done anything about it. She set me straight and I've been to see Dr. Annie twice now, the first time it just hurt alot then and a lot after, Saturday I was in more pain that before...I went back today and she adjusted me again and will see me Thursday. I've been icing it as much as possible since sitting down for 20 minutes at a time is a rarity it's usually at night that this happens.

 My little princess in her dress, LOVES to play in the dirt...I swear if she hadn't come out of my belly I wouldn't believe she was mine. She is a walking disaster, doesn't care if she's dirty, leaves a mess everywhere, plays in the dirt and sand and loves running around outside. Granted I 'may' have enjoyed those things as a child as well but in my old age, of nearly 28 holy moley, I have a rather large ick-factor-phobe, dirt, sand, grim, etc I have a rough time with it all. I end up washing my hands probably 75 times a day, plus a shower in the am. Needless to say I need a good lotion, I've tried a ton but so far the best is the Mary Kay satin hands! I've never been so impressed it works well and it worked if I could find the same thing for my grotty feet I'd be happy...should ask Kellie if they offer something similar!

 Case in point, leaf in unbrushed hair, dirt all over from rolling on the ground.

 I fear I have become 'one of those' people who walks the gender line. My son is outside barefoot and eating grass, doesn't bug me. My daughter however must have on shoes and we wash hands immediately after playing in the dirt. I don't know why I do this or how to just be cool with both of them being kids in the dirt...something I most definitely need to work on. 

We haven't found many friends here yet, I have found a wonderful church but with a congregation of 3200 plus people it's been a bit difficult to connect with others. But I did go to a newcomers class and found a mums and tots group to attend so hopefully with more time in smaller groups I'll make some new friends!  :)
Thanks to babyzone I do know some wonderful ladies within a 45-60 min drive that we've made time to get together a few times in the last month which has been great for me, Adult conversation!!!! and great for the kids to have an unstructured playdate.

*Blaire is about 2 weeks old than Blake*

In our beautiful big backyard we have a huge magnolia tree...according to my MIL it will bloom beautifully in the late spring/summer, I'm excited and have been scouring craiglist for a patio set to put on the back deck so we can enjoy it in all it's glory!!

Oh and our internets back baby! So I'm here, and hopefully will be back to blogging weekly, its a great outlet and seems to help my grumpy moods disappear pretty quick! To quote Joey from Friends "I'm back baby!"

Friday, February 18, 2011

Internet is coming...

I'll be back, I promise, I just hate posting without pictures...makes me feel even more boring :P at least with pictures you have entertainment besides the dribble that comes out my mouth!

We were supposed to get it yesterday but SOMEBODY *ahem* Direct T.V *ahem* did not process our order through AT& now we're delayed a week.

Next week, I'm back with lots of stories for 2011 and pictures galore!

Thanks for sticking around :)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

It's a balancing act

one I'm still figuring out!

I LOOOOOOOOOVE to clean, love the look of clean, the smell of clean and the act of clean...something to do with the perfectionist in me and the OCD tendencies I have maybe? Or maybe I'm just a bit weird, ha like we didn't already know that. Vaccuming is a de-stressor, especially when kids are driving me nuts. K is scared so will sit on the couch and watch and I snap B into the baby sling and away we go making perfect lines and sucking away all the dirt and ickiness that accumulates on the floor....well little ickiness since we do NOT wear shoes in my house, ever and yes I will make you take them off at the door :)

I also love to craft, working on my side business yep I opened one up after a little shove from a good friend. I've donated a few of them and hope that will drum up more business. If nothing else they are fun to make and give me my creative outlet.

I love to shower, my shortest managed shower is 8 minutes and that was the worst, typically I spend 20-25 mins under the water and yes I know I'm a terrible environmentalist but it's my one escape from the day and my love of peace and quiet with the water running down my back...I get lots of thinking done in there!

I love spending time with my kids, dancing, playing on the floor, building blocks, doing art, cooking, running around outside, etc, etc, etc.

I love to blog when my thoughts are in working order...

I have to do homework
I have to pay bills
I have to take care of the dog
I have to make breakfast, lunch and dinner

I like to watch TV at night...

So how does it all fit in the day? When is it okay for a messy house to well just be messy, at this point my kitchen may be a little beyond that and it's giving me anxiety every time I look at it...but B is asleep and I can't clean in there when he's sleeping since he it's a light sleeper. Its the daily question of showering while baby sleeps or playing with and giving K individual time...although lately since she's somewhat a trouble maker we combine and she comes into the bathroom and we chat or she reads me a story.

It's a balancing act and somedays I'm much too heavy on one side and light on the other, I doubt I'll ever figure this thing called parenting to a perfect balance but I'm not sure that's even least in my world! But we're having a heck of a ride while we're here and as long as we go to warm beds with full bellies and smiles on our faces I think we'll make it though!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What's your number?

This question seems to be a constant asked in the parenting world, like once you take the leap of one child how many more do you dare to have?

People women always say they "know" when they are done, I was one of those but due to recent changes I've began to wonder about it and this subject of "knowing".

My first child was not what they call a planned baby, but met with absolute joy and love. We ummed and ahhed and discussed number two, agreed, didn't agree...but always said two kids would be great for our family.

Bambino number 2 arrived this  last year, wow already, and I spent the whole pregnancy accepting and being comfortable with that I was done and we were complete. I was iffy during the pregancy but when he arrived felt like okay cool we're good, family of 4 sounds right, two kids, two hands, we're good.


My husband has recently been contemplating a 3rd and heaven forbid a 4th for our family. He's decided he wants a crew...okay he said 5 kids and I told him no way in a hot place was that happening.

But since he's been talking about it, I've kind of become wow I think 3, maybe even 4 kids would be really fun! Not right now, mr. no sleep has to get his butt in order first, but maybe in another year, a bigger family could be great. I think my title as Mummy is one I own well, I'm nowhere near the perfect parent but I really love staying home with my kids and just being Mummy.

But wait, I was done, I felt that huh I feel good with two kids and our family is done no need for more kids, factory closed feeling.

Making me question this whole "oh no my family is done" concept. I mean are we really ever done? As a friend recently said, I've never heard of anyone say they regret having another child. So is our heart ever done? Obviously sensibility comes into play, finances make a difference, size of the home, patience level, health capabilities, etc but are those what tell us we're done as opposed to our heart? Do we just convince ourselves our heart is done to avoid that tug? Or does it really go away?

Did I just convince myself we were done because in reality we had agreed we were? So I was making my heart be okay with the decision instead of listening to it?

I wonder if those who say they are done and happy would be sad to have another child today...

So I'm curious if those who are done for whatever reason feel like it's a heart choice or a mind choice or a combination of both? I guess I'll revisit this post in a few years and see if my thoughts have changed!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Ever walk into a room...

and go crud what did I come in here for?

Happens to me all the time, just happened as I came to my blog site. I had a great topic in mind, TV is on, Facebook is open and well ADHD kicked in and now I've got nothing but a topic about nothing :P

At the moment I'm dealing with the frustration of DVD region codes. WHY do they do it? I don't get it. But every region and I believe there are 5...don't quote me on that...has as different way of coding their DVDs and DVD players. The US is region 1.

We received an awesome gift card from my aunt and uncle for Christmas to the amazon UK website, I knew about the codes but found the manual to my 7 year old DVD/VHS player that said I could change the region coding and play anything, fantastic right? So I ordered 18 new DVDs for the kids. They arrived. I plugged in the player and nothing, nada, zilch...the dang thing is dunzo!


So we schlepped to Best Buy in the rain today, talked to the guys in the DVD dept. who told me we could not use anything sold in the store, but the PS3 which is way out of the current budget and even then he only knew we could play foreign games. Found another guy who told me the last one they sold that was capable of that was over a year ago, luck have it they had one in the "open box" aisle, SCORE! No remote but the Phillips machine that died had one so I was told I could use the old remote, awesome right? Wrong...drove home, plugged it in, stupid remote died along with the old machine.


Back to the drawing I checked online and found a few hacker code websites offering ways to un-code the DVD player allowing it to play all regions. Awesome. So back we went to Best Buy to return the Phillips and pick up just a regular DVD/Blu Ray player they had on the "open box" shelf for a great price. Brought that one home and it doesn't work.

Double Sigh

Maybe I should have bought books!

B and I will head back to the store Wednesday while K's in her science enrichment class and try for a 3rd time, 3rd times a charm right? it has to eventually work out...Thankfully I've only opened one DVD so if all else fails we may just return them.

Today was Monday!

Saturday, January 29, 2011


I hate the feeling of being behind, behind in housework, behind in getting a deal from the store, behind in blogging, behind in homework...behind.

Being behind makes it so much harder to catch up. Where to start, how to get on top of things or even better ahead of things.

So I guess a brief catch up is in order?

We're settled in our new home, a few boxes remain in the basement hiding in the corner where I pretend if I ignore them they'll go away, so far it's not working...

I recently got hit by a mack truck, not literally but figuratively...I developed mastitis and it knocked me out for a day and a bit, starting to feel better.

We've found a church, finally, it's not as amazing as the one we left in Opelika but it's a great place and we're finding our way around slowly...I got lost once but there were plenty of people to help me find the way out! Yes it's a large church.

I've lost 6 pounds in 3 weeks and feeling great about it! I have quite a ways to go but I'm on a good start and hope to keep this up!

I opened my own business, not feeling super confident about it but I love making the frames and enjoy it so if nothing else it's a fun hobby for a little while :)

Project 365 is going well, made it almost through the month (2 days to go) without hesitation, I'm learning more about my camera and hope to improve the quality of photos as I move forward!

Oh and I'm LOVING e-mealz! Have you tried it? Checked into it? Click the link on my site (I get a referral bonus) and check it out. It's cut our food budget down and food I buy actually gets used, so no more throwing bad veggies out or questioning meat! Plus meals are planned 5 days a week, so come 4pm I don't stand in the kitchen going hmmm what on earth should we do for dinner! oh and they are the cajun shrimp and rice we had tonight! delish :)

Kids are phenomenal as usual, turning my hair grey and my smile lines deeper!

We're getting REAL internet soon so I will be back with a vengence complete with pictures! Right now I use the mobile hot spot on my cell phone and since the service stinks in this house the connection speed is S.L.O.W as molassess making uploading pictures on this site near impossible!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Why I struggle...

I've contemplated this post for awhile and letting the world (lol or the few readers I have) about what goes on in my head daily, but I've decided that this is a real life stuggle and nothing to be embarrassed about, it's not something I can control or chose to have, I was born this way, born with a brain that works in different ways...

Senior Year as part of our English requirement we had to write a research paper, 20 pages, 10 sources, big stuff for high was followed up with a 15 minute presentation in infront of the class. It ended up being super interesting to hear what every wrote about, it could be anything! I picked palmistry, but that's not what this post is about.

A classmate, Sam, picked his disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, aka ADHD. I remember listening, reading over his check list of 'do you have ADHD' marking yes and sitting there kind of numb, having a few flashbacks over the years of sitting in the corner, being in trouble for talking, struggling with tests, never remembering what I read, having issues with control, not being able to finish a task, perfection, etc, etc, etc.

Freshman year in college the struggle became worse and I reached out to have an evaluation done...about 8 hours of testing...with a confirmed diagnosis of ADHD.

So an answer to questions but now what? where do I go from there? so my brain works differently, what does that mean?

It means life is not as easy for me as it is for most others, that when I want to sit down and read a book or write in my blog or listen to a story I have to takes me a longer time, outside noises are a big distraction and messes have to be cleaned up. Basically anything and everything is a distraction. If I'm not interested in the topic it's even worse.

I was on addreall XR 30 mg twice a day to help me focus, with pretty yuck side affects, as I was coming off the meds I had headaches, it made me jittery and well bathroom wasn't fun but I could focus better and my tests improved, homework was easier to get done and the weight loss side affect wasn't too bad either!

But I was basically on speed, twice a day...not something I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

So now I struggle, I self medicate with caffiene which while nursing is the only thing I can take anyway, I've learned little tricks on how to pay attention and I accept that this is my world and I'm the only one that can make it better.

My ADHD offers many barriers, it causes strain on all my relationships and it makes me worry for my kids.

Lately it seems to be hindering me more than in the past and I cannot pin point why, but I'm re-vamping my blog as an outlet to discuss my struggles as a Mum of two with ADHD and how I battle the world differently! 

I hope you'll stick around to read some more of my rambling mind and how it affects world!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

holding my head above water...

barely...kind of drowing over here...


the blog is suffering and I'm bummed.

My 8 month old is on a sleep strike and my 3 year old thinks she's 16.

My husband is working 65-80hr weeks, with a training class on Saturdays or contracts out of town.

Housework is a bare minimum, school work has to be done, couponing is going well and weight loss is underway...

I promise I'm going to be back and have plans to re-vamp my blog, changes are a coming!

Thanks for reading and sticking around!

Oh and Amanda won the movie and yes it's still sitting on the table to go to the post office, but it will go out next week I've signed the 16 3 yr old old up for an art class so I have 2 hrs to get stuff done!


Saturday, January 15, 2011

An AMAZING referral...

My friend posted this on facebook today and so I checked it out, she later called me and we talked about how awesome it sounds! She was on her way to the grocery store to check it out!

Here's the deal, this website e-mealz offers weekly meal plans, cool right...well it GETS BETTER!

Not only do they have different plans, so family of 4-6 or just 2 people, they have different stores walmart, kroger, publix, etc. You can determine where you like to shop and how many people you have to cook for, we picked 2 people since our other 2 people don't eat much. No more standing in front of the fridge at 4pm going crap what are we having for dinner tonight, or spending time scouring recipe books or recipe websites to come up with a meal. Even better no more searching cupboards for anything that sounds good together...It's all done for you!!

Keep reading...

It tells you what ingredients to buy, the recipe to use AND the prices and where to find the items in the store PLUS coupons. All in a PDF file to print out weekly and take with you to the store, then save the recipes for weekends.

They promise to keep you under a budget, for the 2 people menu its $35-$45 a week, bigger family meals its $75 a week.

They also have fat-free, vegeterian, etc, etc, etc.


it's a mere $1.25 a week...or $15 every 3 months...

What are you waiting for? Go check it out, sign up and tell me how much you love it!

I did today, the menu is easy foods, yummy, healthy and stuff my kids AND husband will eat!!

Emealz - Easy Meals for Busy People!

Okay really I'm not endorsed by these people, and upon re-reading I kind of sound like a marketing gimmick, but I'm just super excited about this, just $5 a month that will save me $$ and time...i'm so excited to try it out!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Winter Storm Warning

If we'd been in Denver this would mean alot of inches, near feet of thick, heavy snow...but since we're in Atlanta it meant about 2 inches of snow, lots of freezing rain and ice.
 Kaitlyn was ridiculously excited to go out and play...I could barely get breakfast in her she was jumping at the gun to get into her snow clothes and make angels. Mean Mummy forced her to wait until little brother had a nap and Daddy got up (after working a long weekend and getting home at 3am he was exhausted). Thankfully my little string bean still fit into her 12 month's a bit big I think, Target brand, and well at 3 and a half she's a bit tiny!

The snow, freezing rain mess started about 9pm on Sunday and had stopped before we got up Monday morning, total I think we got maybe 3 inches at our place. The snow was excellent snow ball snow with a layer of thick ice over the top. Kaitlyn made about 15 snow angels...Blake wasn't too sure...

 at first but it didn't take long for him to roll around in it! My little Denver baby in his first snow while living in Atlanta...never thought he'd get to play in the snow this year! Thanks to my friend Courtney and her clothing swap (she got K's clothes I got her eldest sons clothes) we were able to deck him out in snow-appropriate gear!

 This kid is for sure my Denver baby, she loved being in the snow and it took a few tries and a promise of hot chocolate to get her inside. We were mildly amused by our neighbors on their ATVs racing up and down the street and incredibly amused by the fact that the city of Atlanta is shut down, no mail, no delivery trucks, no nothing...the ice is real, the city just doesn't know how to handle it and my goodness the drivers...I'm glad we stayed home for the first two days of it!

Like father, like son

My sweet little cold weather babies enjoying the time together. We're loving this Winter Storm!