Behind

I hate the feeling of being behind, behind in housework, behind in getting a deal from the store, behind in blogging, behind in homework...behind.

Being behind makes it so much harder to catch up. Where to start, how to get on top of things or even better ahead of things.

So I guess a brief catch up is in order?

We're settled in our new home, a few boxes remain in the basement hiding in the corner where I pretend if I ignore them they'll go away, so far it's not working...

I recently got hit by a mack truck, not literally but figuratively...I developed mastitis and it knocked me out for a day and a bit, starting to feel better.

We've found a church, finally, it's not as amazing as the one we left in Opelika but it's a great place and we're finding our way around slowly...I got lost once but there were plenty of people to help me find the way out! Yes it's a large church.

I've lost 6 pounds in 3 weeks and feeling great about it! I have quite a ways to go but I'm on a good start and hope to keep this up!

I opened my own business, not feeling super confident about it but I love making the frames and enjoy it so if nothing else it's a fun hobby for a little while :)
www.etsy.com/shop/fantasticframes2

Project 365 is going well, made it almost through the month (2 days to go) without hesitation, I'm learning more about my camera and hope to improve the quality of photos as I move forward!

Oh and I'm LOVING e-mealz! Have you tried it? Checked into it? Click the link on my site (I get a referral bonus) and check it out. It's cut our food budget down and food I buy actually gets used, so no more throwing bad veggies out or questioning meat! Plus meals are planned 5 days a week, so come 4pm I don't stand in the kitchen going hmmm what on earth should we do for dinner! oh and they are delicious...like the cajun shrimp and rice we had tonight! delish :)

Kids are phenomenal as usual, turning my hair grey and my smile lines deeper!

We're getting REAL internet soon so I will be back with a vengence complete with pictures! Right now I use the mobile hot spot on my cell phone and since the service stinks in this house the connection speed is S.L.O.W as molassess making uploading pictures on this site near impossible!

Why I struggle...

I've contemplated this post for awhile and letting the world (lol or the few readers I have) about what goes on in my head daily, but I've decided that this is a real life stuggle and nothing to be embarrassed about, it's not something I can control or chose to have, I was born this way, born with a brain that works in different ways...

Senior Year as part of our English requirement we had to write a research paper, 20 pages, 10 sources, big stuff for high school...it was followed up with a 15 minute presentation in infront of the class. It ended up being super interesting to hear what every wrote about, it could be anything! I picked palmistry, but that's not what this post is about.

A classmate, Sam, picked his disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, aka ADHD. I remember listening, reading over his check list of 'do you have ADHD' marking every.single.one yes and sitting there kind of numb, having a few flashbacks over the years of sitting in the corner, being in trouble for talking, struggling with tests, never remembering what I read, having issues with control, not being able to finish a task, perfection, etc, etc, etc.

Freshman year in college the struggle became worse and I reached out to have an evaluation done...about 8 hours of testing...with a confirmed diagnosis of ADHD.

So an answer to questions but now what? where do I go from there? so my brain works differently, what does that mean?

It means life is not as easy for me as it is for most others, that when I want to sit down and read a book or write in my blog or listen to a story I have to prepare...it takes me a longer time, outside noises are a big distraction and messes have to be cleaned up. Basically anything and everything is a distraction. If I'm not interested in the topic it's even worse.

I was on addreall XR 30 mg twice a day to help me focus, with pretty yuck side affects, as I was coming off the meds I had headaches, it made me jittery and well bathroom wasn't fun but I could focus better and my tests improved, homework was easier to get done and the weight loss side affect wasn't too bad either!

But I was basically on speed, twice a day...not something I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

So now I struggle, I self medicate with caffiene which while nursing is the only thing I can take anyway, I've learned little tricks on how to pay attention and I accept that this is my world and I'm the only one that can make it better.

My ADHD offers many barriers, it causes strain on all my relationships and it makes me worry for my kids.

Lately it seems to be hindering me more than in the past and I cannot pin point why, but I'm re-vamping my blog as an outlet to discuss my struggles as a Mum of two with ADHD and how I battle the world differently! 

I hope you'll stick around to read some more of my rambling mind and how it affects world!