4 years ago yesterday...

I found out I was going to be a mama...my first born was not planned, she was as they call it an 'oops baby'. The feelings were intense, happy, excited, scared, nervous, overwhelmed, unsure, giddy, but mostly HOLY CANOLI I'm having a baby.
July 29th, 2007 life changed for the good...

Becoming a Mum has meant a lot of things, a lot of great things and a lot of realizations. Realizing whatever you did before doesn't matter, but what you do from now on does in a big way. Dirty dishes become less important and the perfection of blowing raspberries more.

 Alot of people talk about 'giving up' things to become a mama...I don't think I gave up anything. I'm still up at 2am, only now it's to comfort and feed a hungry baby. I still wear my heels, they're just next to the princess shoes. I put on my make-up right after kissing two plump cheeks. The little black dress is still worn only now one shoulder is covered with a burp cloth and there is a hint of snot or slobber or both on the hem right where a little face burried into it.

 It's a pretty amazing thing, becoming the whole world to one person. Knowing that you are shaping this persons life. What you do, what you say helps them to figure out who they are and what they want to be or do when they grow up. Your life is them. They are perfect in their own way, they know it and you know it.

It's a marvelous thing this title of Mama. One that isn't always easy to come by, one that people sometimes suffer and cry for a long time before receiving. One that is always hoped to be the first word out of a child mouth, but usually comes second to that easier to say Dadda. One that is a need when sick, a word of support and encouragement, a comfort in the night and a smile in the morning. A title not always asked for, a title that means the world and one that makes a difference.

Four years I've had this title...and I cannot wait for the rest to come. My little girl gave me this title and it's one I hold near and dear to my heart, not taken lightly and even in the whiniest or grumpiest of times when the 3 year old is acting like a 3 year old a title that I love.